Is it REALLY already that time of year? Where the hell did two thousand eleven go??
It's 7:28am in my world right now. I don't know what time it is where you are, but I'm pretty sure you're all still in 2011 right along with THIS GAL....well, except maybe Australia...or the Philippines.
Today I awoke before the sun. It was SHITTING on the mountain yesterday and I was supposed to catch first chair today. Plans fell through. Sad. But now the world gets a blog.
::to the majority of you that don't understand my mountain lingo... "SHITTING" = dumping snow...like, HELLA DUMPING...like, if Mother Nature had explosive diarrhea, that is what occurred. "first chair" = the first chairlift ride of the day...usually occurs around 8:55am on our mountain.::
Ok...now that we're all caught up...
NYE. Yup. ::sigh::
NYE to a bartender is like Black Friday. Every idiot on the planet decides (insert drunk white bitch voice here), "So like, OMG! It's N.Y.E. (::side bar:: drunk white bitches will spell acronyms outloud...) we should TOTALLY get as drunk as possible and be even BITCHIER drunk white girls. Then we'll take our slutty selves to the bathroom, hand in hand, while we complain about how no one is buying us drinks. So let's be SUPER bitches to the bartenders and then complain so we get free stuff. Everything should be free cuz it's NYE and we suckered some dumbass into paying BIG BUCKS to be seen at a happening club downtown."
Wait...that's a typical Saturday night.
On NYE they all come out. All of them. It's the one night everyone thinks it's ok to just be hammered. I call that Tuesday, but whatevs...
Last year, I saw a vagina. The year before I was being carried out of the bar I worked at (see sad break up post below) by my ex-boyfriend because I was a DWB. Well, DHWB (drunk half-white bitch...hey, I had to see what the fuss was about). The year before that, I was slinging drinks for a bunch of shithoused pretentious DWB's. The moral of the story is, tonite was created for amateurs.
Tomorrow, no one will be in a bar.
And my cohorts.
Why? Cuz we don't care what the date is. It's Sunday. What do we do on Sunday? Drink and watch football.
I have no clue where this story is going. I think I hate NYE. I NEVER have it off (except the incident two years ago), I don't get a New Year's kiss (cuz I'm ALWAYS stuck working when the ball drops) it's busier at the bar, and I don't make as much money as I feel is deserving of the bullshit I have to put up with. PLEASE BE NICE TO YOUR BARTENDERS ON NYE...AND TIP WELL...AND MAKE OUT WITH ME. Thank you.
And for NYE resolutions? I've said it before and I'll say it again: I was not born on New Year's Day. I start my resolutions on July 4 (this gal's official b-day) because that's when my year actually starts. Tomorrow is Sunday. What do I do on Sunday? Drink beer and watch football. So yeah....not resolving to do anything.
Uh...facebook distracted me. Damn it. I no longer know where my thoughts were going...so I'm gonna tell you a story about last night.
Drunk Jen roamed the town. Drunk Jen APPARENTLY brought home a shopping cart. Drunk Jen left this note for her roommates to see when they got home. I don't know that I actually NEED to tell this story. The picture speaks a million words....according to my brilliant asian math.
Happy holidays, world.