The infamous hurdle I always come to. The wall. The wall everyone has. The wall made out of the little pieces of your heart that were ripped out by every person you've dated, family, etc.
::insert squeaky annoying girl voice::
"OMG....like, it's really hard for me to be in a relationship because my walls are like, so thick....and stuff..."
And I am THAT girl. (minus the annoying voice, obviously....hopefully)
I always thought it was men who are supposed to be afraid of commitment...not the other way around.
I'm standing in front of my wall right now. Actually, I was standing in front of it last night, and then turned around and walked away. Yup. I got to the wall, looked at it, and made a choice to go back, not go over. Why? It's too much. Too soon. I'm too scared. I'm really good at fucking things up. This is why I don't get involved. This is why I'm the make-out bandit. Well, being scared of my heart and the fact that no one has impressed me in a long time.
This one....this guy has impressed me...so why am I trying to run away? Because of the graffiti on my wall...the permanent images that scare me away. There was that one guy... And there was that one situation.... And that other thing... And the one time...
...they all ended in tears. I don't like tears.
I'm scared to death...
...but maybe I'll take another walk up to the wall and peek over it again.